Personal Power

Do You Project Positive or Negative Power?

Achieving power requires understanding power – what it is, how it works, who has it, and when to use it. Power should enable you to achieve your goals, and not just your own goals but those of others as well. It is the insecure person who uses power to manipulate and destroy in order to achieve their goals. We see this kind of power demonstrated, unfortunately, on several television reality shows, which quite mistakenly send the message that powerful people are people who use fear tactics, people who are devious, manipulative, cold-hearted, and ruthless. Although some do achieve success with these tactics, they possess what we call negative power. Positive power is free of manipulation. 

Powerful people who are not manipulative are well liked, regardless of age, gender, or culture. They realize that they will not be able to please everyone; and they do not expect total agreement on every action or idea. Personalities vary! In fact, the more powerful you become, the more you will disappoint, displease, and even anger others at times. The key is to maintain respect! For example, people may not like your ideas but they respect your approach.

Power also comes to those who are regarded as “superior” or “heroic” in one way or another. Many of us (the baby boomer generation) remember the early television westerns. The good guy always wore a white hat and rode a white horse; the bad guy wore a black hat and rode a black horse. The analogy has changed, but you can still “wear the white hat” and make people feel safe and secure. It is a wonderful way to harness and share your personal power.

True power lies within your ability to maintain control, to believe in yourself, and to develop others. The best kind of power comes from the regard others have for you. Your ability to influence other people’s perception of you is a form of personal power. Your attitude and spirit, your demeanor and mannerisms all reflect this power. Use this power to control the impression you make, to inspire people, and to project a positive example to your co-workers, the management team, and the public. People who practice this authentic power are admired. They inspire others to be their very best and to have a humble nature. They also use their power to get things done by recruiting allies and harnessing resources.

The twists and turns of society combined with people’s changing attitudes will never cease to create challenges for you. There will always be defensive, arrogant, obnoxious, or rude people in this world of uncertainty and fear. There will be times when you know in your heart that you have done the right thing but it was not appreciated, or worse, it was challenged. Personal power is about knowing when to move on. Just knowing that you did the right thing is powerful in itself. When addressing concerns, it is important to discuss the situation in a civil manner, consider or activate possible solutions, and then move on. It is hard to be difficult with someone who is calm and in control. Plus, your ability to handle challenging situations builds a strong character, sets a very positive tone, and is an example for others. The way we are treated in this world depends largely on how we project and handle ourselves in any given situation. Only you can control your destiny and your influence on others.

The following situation is not unique; there are variations all around us. It was sent to us by a college professor seeking advice:

I have a student who asked if I knew of any classes, workshops, or seminars that he might utilize to help him with his job. He is a security guard in a bad part of town and confronts hostile people all night long. He said he doesn’t know how to respond to these people and needs some guidance. Any ideas? Thanks for your help

What are your thoughts? Perhaps you have been in a similar situation. How would you advise this young man to use his “personal power” to confront hostile (or negative) individuals without resorting to abusive behavior? It is important that your suggestion demonstrates self-control and projects a positive role model. Your comments will help others utilize positive power.